My dear friend Di called me last week. “Can I just vent?,” she asked. “I can’t bring myself to wear a mask and I’m tired of feeling like I’m an evil person for it.” Di is a survivor of severe sexual abuse and just the thought of fully covering her mouth and nose at the same time is too much. In fact, not only is it triggering to think about wearing a mask, but it’s triggering for her just to see others wearing masks. All of the things that covering the mouth and nose symbolize brings so much of her past to the surface. She is an essential worker, which means she cannot draw unemployment just because she’s not able to wear a mask. She has to work and she’s required to wear a mask if her clients request it. And I’m positive she is not alone. Several people have told me that wearing masks creates anxiety, and in some cases extreme anxiety. As the CDC rolled out it’s newest recommendations, many states took aim at people who “refuse” to wear a mask.
Pennsylvania, where I live, made it mandatory last week for people to wear masks in order to enter businesses. With a very few exceptions and no accountability for businesses to refrain from verbally attacking customers, businesses are now required to turn away people who don’t wear a mask. A recent opinion piece by columnist Paul Muschick shows just how judgmental he and many other people are towards people like my friend Di who cannot wear masks. Paul writes:
Businesses that provide medication, medical supplies or food “must provide alternative methods of pick-up or delivery of such goods” for those without a mask.
Why?
Why are we putting the onus on the businesses to cater to people who are too lazy, stubborn or self-conscious to wear a mask?
Grocery stores, convenience stores and pharmacies have their hands full during the coronavirus crisis. Employees are stressed. They don’t need the responsibility of taking extra steps to serve customers who don’t want to play by the rules.
Customers need to take responsibility and cover their faces. Those who refuse should stay home and shop online.
From THE MORNING CALL, “Pennsylvania’s mask requirement has one big flaw,” by Paul Muschick
So are we to believe that people who can’t wear masks due to anxiety, panic attacks, asthma, and various triggers from being forcibly raped, gagged, choked, and beaten are being “catered to”? They’re too, in the words of Mr. Muschick, “lazy, stubborn or self-conscious to wear a mask”? This is exactly the kind of rhetoric that abuse survivors are hearing across the country.
A debate about the effectiveness of masks and how these policies are being implemented from state to state are probably best left for another post. What troubles me most, though, is that my brothers and sisters who are suffering with anxiety from abuse are being targeted and told that not wearing masks makes them selfish, reckless, dangerous, hateful, etc. I couldn’t disagree more, and it’s time someone speaks up to this kind of unnecessary and harmful rhetoric. “Just stay home” isn’t possible for essential workers, people who have bills to pay, and people who need to shop for food and can’t do so online.
I’m all for using common sense, social distancing, and working together to slow the spread of this horrific disease. My family and church have gladly followed the requirements and recommendations put out by our governor’s office. But we also must acknowledge that some of these policies are not thought through very well. These mandates are making some of our most vulnerable and valuable people targets of harassment. We need to exercise compassion towards those who cannot wear masks for various reasons and stop assuming that every person without one is a selfish dirt bag. Hurling insults at people for not wearing a mask in public defies common decency. Targeting and bullying people who may be suffering with chronic anxiety doesn’t make you any more of a decent person than the person not wearing a mask. Why are more people not calling out this kind of behavior? These attacks are not helpful. They’re not kind. They’re not compassionate. And it needs to stop.
I worry about people like Di who physically cannot wear a mask. I worry about people with panic and anxiety disorders who are terrified to walk out into public right now. I worry about abuse survivors who finally do venture out into public only to have their pictures taken without their knowledge then who are mocked and attacked by #Covidstupid tags on social media. I worry about people who don’t have the ability or luxury to do their shopping online for essential food items but will be refused or bullied at the grocery store for not wearing a mask. I worry about people who cannot wear masks but are considered essential workers. They will be forced to make a choice that could bring them to financial ruin. And I worry about abuse survivors who are too afraid to tell people why they cannot bring themselves to put a mask over their face.
As advocates, Christians, and neighbors, we need to consider that sometimes blanket policies will not work for everyone. Next time you go out in public you may see people without masks. That doesn’t mean those people who don’t (or can’t) wear masks aren’t concerned for the health of others. It doesn’t mean that they are “Trumpers” who are defying the law. It doesn’t mean they hope your grandma gets sick and dies. It doesn’t mean they hate the government. It doesn’t mean they are fundamentalist Christians who mock policies and defy “man’s authority.”
It could well be that people not wearing masks are struggling to survive themselves. It could be that it took every bit of their strength to go out in public, knowing that there will be people judging them harshly and insulting them for not wearing a mask. It could be that they’ve endured the most agonizing, horrific abuse imaginable. It could be that they have special needs and cannot stand the texture or feeling of a mask. Let’s be a bit kinder to our neighbors during this pandemic as we all try to figure out our new normal.
Photo by Dimitri Karastelev on Unsplash