In a podcast this week, our topic was Diagnosing Your Church’s Health when abuse allegations come to light. One of our points was that unhealthy churches reframe firings as “resignations” so it appears that the guilty person is quitting. “Resignation” firings allow abusers to receive the blessing of the same leaders who fired them, leading to a very confusing environment. Information about abuse allegations are intentionally withheld from the congregation, so leaders give the false appearance that their preacher willingly resigned. I wish I could say that this dishonest tactic is rare. My experience is that it is incredibly common. Just this week, I have been made aware of two instances of preachers being fired “resigned.” That’s two too many.
Healthy churches don’t lie. They don’t need to. If there are allegations of abuse, leaders need to stand on truth and justice. If a charge is serious enough that a church will fire a leader, what does it say about the church that reframes the firing as a “resignation?” The leader who was fired is then able to scurry off to a new unsuspecting church, where they rinse, reinvent, and repeat. Oftentimes, the leaders who allowed (or forced) a “resignation” will even send off the fired pastor with a letter of recommendation, so long as he or she remains silent about the circumstances surrounding the firing.
This is known in secular circles as “passing the trash.” In 2014, Pennsylvania, where I live, unanimously passed a bill in the House that would ban schools from withholding information about problematic teachers. A Penn Live article says it very clearly: “The bill would bar schools from entering into contracts that suppress information about investigations of abuse and sexual misconduct, as well as prevent schools from transferring problem teachers from school district to school district, a practice called “pass the trash.”
If lawmakers are unanimously making it illegal for schools to pass the trash, isn’t it high time the church realizes just how unethical and immoral it is for them to do it? It’s past time that we have a system in place in the church that also bars churches from passing the trash. When someone is credibly accused of any kind of abuse, churches should report all reportable instances to law enforcement, fire the abusive leader, and communicate clearly with their church why they fired the leader. Church leaders should be concise in their communication. They need to inform the church that they have a zero tolerance policy on abuse.
If you are reading this and you know of a leader who suddenly resigns, know that it’s OK to ask questions. Ask the person if they actually resigned on their own free will or if it was a forced resignation. Ask what circumstances led to the resignation. It’s impossible to know the difference between a legitimate resignation and a firing that is framed as a resignation unless we ask the right questions.
If you are a leader who “resigned” a church leader in the past, repent and make it right. Accept the consequences for allowing an abuser to move on. This may mean stepping down from your role as a leader in the church. It takes humility and courage to admit your mistakes. We advocates see the trail of damage that is created by abusers who are given a free pass to roam from church to church. The church shouldn’t be an abuser’s playground. Leaders, I beg: stop “resigning” abusers and passing the trash.
Churches force ministers to resign for almost any reason of the church’s choosing. Not only for sexual abuse. It is never a good thing to lack honesty. It is sometimes the church that has mistreated the minister. Ask questions is right
That’s exactly right. There wasn’t room in this short blog post to mention all the reasons leaders “resign” their ministers. It’s definitely not limited to sexual abuse.
This happens in organizations that churches support, too. I worked at a church of Christ funded children’s home many years ago. A male staff raped a female resident. She told. Those in positions of authority accused her of lying and pretty much told us “there’s nothing to see here.” Then that same staff raped another female resident. He was quietly fired. Neither victim was given any support and very little follow up with law enforcement was done. We knew he would go on to perpetrate. We asked our director to notify the elders in the church where he went— in another state— and began “serving” as a youth minister. The director refused and to my shame I didn’t defy him. Time passed. The director was fired but the victims were still out there. Eventually I got a call from an elder at a church in Michigan saying he wanted to ask me about the perpetrator. He said a girl in the congregation had made allegations about this man. I told Him I had one question for him. Does the girl have blond hair and blue eyes? He paused and then said “yes.” I told him that was all I needed to hear and that the girl was telling the truth—blue eyed blonds were his preference. We talked more and I shared that he had raped two girls in our care THAT WE KNEW ABOUT. I say that because now I work as an advocate for sexual assault survivors and I know that for every victim that speaks out there are so many more who suffer in silence and blame themselves. Our churches and church funded organizations need to educate themselves!
Sadly this happens in church funded organizations, too. I began my career as a social worker at a church of Christ funded children’s home. Many years into my work there, a male staff raped a female resident. She told. The response was to accuse her of lying and offer support to this ‘poor man who had been accused of something so awful.’ The director (not the godly man that hired me, but his replacement) pretty much told all of us that “there’s nothing to see here.” And then the same male staff raped another female resident. So he was quietly let go. He went to another state and quickly went to work as a youth minister. Those of us who had the audacity to believe the first victim told our director that he had and obligation to contact the elders and inform him of the danger of giving this man access to young girls. His response was to turn his anger on us and tell us to keep quiet. To my shame, I did not defy him. Time passed, and thankfully our board of directors listened to us and fired the director. More time passed, and I got a call from an elder in a church in the other state. He had questions about the perpetrator because a girl in the youth group had made allegations about him. I stopped him right there and said I had one question for him. “Does the girl have blond hair and blue eyes?” Big pause, and then an incredulous, “How did you know that?” Simple–blue eyed blonds were his preference. I told him to know this girl was courageous and truthful. I told him that there were two victims THAT WE KNEW ABOUT. I say “that we knew about” because we know there are always more victims out there who are suffering in silence and blaming themselves. I now work as an advocate for survivors of sexual assault as well as adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse, so I see first hand what years of suffering can do to a person. They become more vulnerable to more assaults. I can’t tell you how many adult survivors have been victimized also as adults. My heart breaks for them but I continue to advocate for them and most of all to believe them. In sexual assault work we start by believing. I can’t help but think of that first girl who told on that staff and how different everything would have been if those in authority would have simply started by believing her. This is now my life’s work, and I’m proud of the survivors that I serve!
Thank you for sharing this. It’s a prime example of the types of cover ups that we need to expose. Your story also demonstrates how difficult it is to confront the people who hold power. Sadly, when they silence people who report the abuse it will empower the abuser, big time. Good for you for pressing the issue and speaking truth! We need everyone to follow this example.
” I see first hand what years of suffering can do to a person. They become more vulnerable to more assaults. I can’t tell you how many adult survivors have been victimized also as adults. ”
This is so important for people to understand. In case folks are apt to minimize the harms, it should be seen as a cascade of harms. The victim who is victimized once becomes that much more likely to be victimized again by another perp. If victimized twice, the likelihood of being further abused and victimized skyrockets. And as the downward spiral continues, it becomes a death spiral.
Predators look for pre-traumatized victims to target and prey upon. That child or teenager or young adult who is victimized and preyed upon doesn’t just suffer the initial harm, but she becomes marked prey for the rest of her life. This isn’t to suggest that victims are damaged goods, but rather to make people abundantly aware of the cascade of harms that are most likely to follow the initial victimization. So even if the perp is super sorry and blah, blah, blah, there is an indelible mark left on victims. It changes who they are.
The best thing to pull victims out of the downward spiral is early intervention, limiting the extent of the abuse and initial victimization, and then it comes down to support systems available to the victim. Victims with less robust support systems with family and friends and other helpers are sure to get locked into the downward spiral of revictimization until they end up so traumatized, so abused, so violated, so harmed, so damaged they die premature deaths, overdose, or plain suicide.
Some people will blame the victim but when someone is victimized early on, it changes who they are. Abusers, predators, and other perps are able to uncannily sniff this vulnerability out with remarkable accuracy. That she goes on to be abused in relationships, have abuser husbands, etc. isn’t so much about her being defective but rather the perps that target her.
TL:DR Downward spiral of revictimization of abuse victims is very serious and a cascade of harms follows so many victims. Abuse is so serious. Sexual abuse is murderous.